Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Debowlerization of America

             I've had the burning desire to go bowling over the past month, but this or that thing tends to appear out of nowhere and I ended up not going. On an otherwise uneventful Tuesday night, I decided the wait had to end, I wanted to go bowling and nothing should stand in my way. There's plenty of bowling spots in the city such as the Bowlmor franchise, but I was looking for a real old fashion bowling alley. The new age bowling places have turned into trendy lounges and clubs that cater to corporate outings and collar-up sweatervest bachelor parties which goes against the whole idea of a bowling alley. These lame alleys have bouncers in the front like its some fancy hotspot. A bowling alley should have a dented front door in which the glass is cracked. The inside should stink of body odor, chalk, and cigarettes. The lighting should be dim; not because of design, but because a few of bulbs burnt out. The rental shoes should be worn out and the once white shoelaces need to be graying and about to snap. The bowling balls themselves should be chipped, cracked, and the weight number should be faded out so you can't tell how heavy the ball is. The only food options should be microwavable mozzarella sticks and greasy shoestring french fries. The bathroom must be absolutely atrocious and the toilet unusable under any circumstance. That's a bowling alley!!

             With the number of real bowling alleys rapidly shrinking over the past twenty years, my options were very limited. There used to be two locations very close to me, but they're both gone now. There is another not too far from me, but it doesn't fit the description above I was seeking in a properly looking and smelling bowling alley. The only location that was somewhat holding onto the old tradition of rancidness as far as I knew was located up in White Plains. The last time I was there was probably about 2005. I didn't know the exact street name the place was on or what the name of the alley even was, but I remembered how to get there. It's by the Westchester County Center, the place I visited for the Toy & Train as well as the Cat Show about a year ago. I drove up there all ready to bowl, but there was one small problem: I didn't see the alley anymore. In thinking perhaps I passed by it without noticing a sign, I went back and drove by again, and still there was no trace of it. Was this place another victim of the debowlerization that has been occurring in this country over the last two decades? As of 2008, New York was leading all states with 410 listed bowling alleys, while other parts of the country, such as Washington DC, had zero. The number of bowling alleys have been decreasing and the ones that still exist are morphed into "scenes" like Bowlmor or are a part of an overall entertainment zone that also features arcade games, laser tag, go-carts, batting cages, etc. Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton grabbing their bowling bowls to go out with the guys used to be part of American culture. Bowling on a Friday or Saturday night was a piece of fabric in society such as going to church on Sunday. The question becomes; why are the alleys disappearing and why don't people bowl anymore?

             The two parts of this equation are the human beings needed to bowl and the buildings for the humanoids to bowl in. With the large amount of options for programming to watch on cable or satellite television, as well as the unlimited amount of destinations to browse on the internet, there's less of a need to venture outside the household for entertainment when there is so much amusement to be done at home or in the palm of a hand. Whatever human contact is able to survive the lure of Amazon.com and "Doomsday Preppers" is fragmented by the constant need to consult a small handheld device to check email and text messages, or see what's been posted on Facebook (like ZEIsSIT World blog posts). The idea of pure human connection without internet access somewhere in the midst is all about gone and the desire for activities that live outside the gigabyte world are less ingrained on the human soul than it was forty or fifty years ago. Not only have bowling alleys been victimized by this, but other social venues such as pool halls, clubs, arcades, sporting events, and church have either totally evaporated or have been severely watered down. One might say there's millions of clubs in existence, but the response back should be a second consideration if the place is really a club by definition. The clubs of today have become a beacon of the pretentious with thousand-dollar bottle service and leather couches that highlight the importance of wealth. The end result of focusing on wealth instead of the plight of the people has brought a crumbling musical expressionism which of course is fed back into the same venue which continues the trend of a lowered quality of music.

             The original idea behind a club was for the poor to gather and promote the music which speaks of the social ills or humiliates of the day. The small stages of the late 1950's were the roots for Bob Dylan and The Beatles(in UK), the discos of the 1970's brought Donna Summer and The Bee Gees to life, the dingy spots of the 1980's produced Madonna and The Ramones, and although music was headed downwards at this point, the rugged halls of the late 1980's to early 1990's put Tupac Shakur, Jay-Z, Puff Daddy, Biggie Smalls, all on the map. The boom of cable television in the mid 1980's began this watering down of humanity, eventually leading to the losing desire for places like bowling alleys and the lost ability to recognize quality music. The internet explosion of the mid 1990's sealed the deal so much so that by this month and year in 2013 here are the current Billboard Top Ten Artists and Songs:

1. Thrift Shop by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Wanz
2. Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars
3. Scream & Shout by will.i.am & Britney Spears
4. Ho Hey by The Lumineers
5. I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift
6. Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia Featuring John Martin
7. Daylight by Maroon 5
8. Suit & Tie by Justin Timberlake Featuring Jay Z
9. When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars
10. Beauty And A Beat by Justin Bieber Featuring Nicki Minaj

(Here is the Billboard Top Ten during this month in 1965 when there was no bottle service or iPhone and alot more bowling alleys!!!)

1. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' by The Righteous Brothers
2. Downtown by Petula Clark
3. The Name Game by Shirley Ellis
4. This Diamond Ring by Gary Lewis And The Playboys
5. Hold What You've Got by Joe Tex
6. Love Potion Number Nine by The Searchers
7. All Day And All Of The Night by The Kinks
8. My Girl by The Temptations
9. How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You by Marvin Gaye
10. Shake by Sam Cooke

             Of course everyone is entitled to their own taste in music and opinion what is good or not, but for some reason I have a hard time being convinced "Beauty and A Beat" is anywhere on the same planet or even in the galaxy as "My Girl". The scary thought as the continued trend goes on is what will the Billboard Top Ten look like in the Year 2050. Sporting contests are still part of our culture, but this current version of fans simply aren't into them as they once were. More than half the audience are entranced by their handheld device that they barely watch the action on the field. Crowd participation has filtered out and fans are hardly into these games anymore. As a cheap attempt to make up for the lack of real fan support, the popular thing to do today is to berate athletes on their Twitter accounts or to gang assault fans who wear the jerseys of opposing teams in the parking lot. The caliber of people who can't detect the lack of depth in today's music and spend two hundred dollars on a ticket to a game, only use that time to stare at their iPhone instead of the game itself, in the long run aren't going to be the type of go to the bowling alley. With the loss of customers, its understandable why the bowling alleys were on their way to extinction. There's also the other half of the problem which has brought the rapid loss of these once treasured places to socialize and have fun. Corporations and their chains have been eating this country alive over the past two decades. At every turn, Best Buy, BJ's, Target, Walmart, Kmart, Pier1 Imports, and alike has been grabbing every piece of available land to increase their footprint. In addition, a growing population and the ever present housing market will always influence land owners to build apartments or condos. The formula is to first raise the rent on a struggling bowling alley so it can finally go out of business, then they'll be space to build a new Ikea or an ugly row of generic condos. The majority can't take notice because they're busy watching a Maroon 5 music video on their iPhone during the 9th inning of a tied ballgame.

             After a while driving I finally realized this bowling alley had been swallowed whole from a rotting humanity and there would be no bowling for me on this chilly night. My mind soon turned to food as the goal for the evening and I kept going down this road until I was to encounter a restaurant appetizing enough to try out. My eyes caught one establishment called La Manda's, but since I had to also pay attention to the road, I really couldn't make out if the place was Italian or Mexican cuisine. I figured I would drive for about another ten minutes, and if I didn't see anything else, I would turn around and head straight for La Manda's. By this time I was entering the Village of Elmsford with its numerous seedy hotels and motels near the border. I would come upon one of the bigger hotel chains and there must have been some type of emergency because there was about ten twelve firetrucks and police cars out front. The building looked very familiar to me and it took awhile for me to make the connection. In early 2004 I attended a job fair there for selling final expenses insurance. I don't remember the company's name, but they rented out a large conference room in the hotel and invited about fifty candidates, including myself, to explain what they do and to find future salespeople. The job would essentially involve going to the homes of usually older people and to get them to buy an insurance package that would one day pay for their final expenses. I sat down for a one on one interview with a company recruiter, but I guess I didn't have "Final Expenses Salesman" written onto my face because they didn't call me back afterwards. Reminiscing on it now, the guys who were running the conference were rather creepy looking and its better they didn't want me to join them. I made this hotel my turning around point and I went back from where I came. I parked in front of La Manda's and once I saw the word "pizzeria", I realized it was an Italian restaurant.

             There's a bar as soon as you walk in and towards the right are tables for groups. Two people were already at the bar, so I figured I take my seat there and join the party. The restaurant had an old fashion look to it which was a welcoming sight after suffering the pain of a dead bowling alley. La Manda's Pizza has been around since 1947, and the bathroom probably never changed. The door to the toilet is something out of an antique show and offers little privacy, but in all I was really liking the environment. At the bar there was an elderly gentleman dressed up in a suit. From the way the bartender and other workers spoke to him, it seems like the guy is in there at least five nights a week. The time was about 6:30 pm and the dinner crowd kept coming in. One couple sat up at the bar, some waited in the front for take-out orders, but most were seen to a table. No matter who they were or where they sat, either the bartender or a worker knew who they were and patrons were greeted like family. I was the real unknown entity, everyone else knew each other. Perhaps there's not many options in the area, so everyone goes there to eat, or maybe there's some other type of charm which has kept the place in existence since 1947. In a fast pace world that caters to rancid music and five million Best Buy locations, it was refreshing to find this place where nobody is a stranger. My go-to lately for Italian restaurants has been veal parmigiana. So I ordered that up with a side of spaghetti and a small bottle of white wine. The veal came out in less that ten minutes from when I ordered it, so that raised a reg flag in my mind. The cheese looked like it was tossed on real fast and it was hardly melted into the veal the way it should be. The sauce and the veal itself was a little flat in the taste department, not terrible, but certainly nothing to instill the urge to rush back and have it again. Perhaps La Manda's is more of a pizzeria and in that area is where they shine.

             The bartender offered the dessert menu and of course I had to take a peek. Originally I was thinking of a treat somewhere else on the way home, like a diner. One of the options was Italian cheesecake which I've seen before on menus, but never tried. Since I was already seated at nice cozy place, why go somewhere else for dessert? I went with a slice of the Italian cheesecake and a cup of coffee. I was curious what the difference was between an Italian cheesecake and the more common New York-style, and the answer is all in the texture. Whereas the New York cheesecake is firm, the Italian version is softer and has a cottage cheese look about it. Also it tasted more like a plain cookie than that sweet-cheese essence I have been accustomed to. Having experienced both styles of cheesecake, I'll lean with the original New York-style any day of the week. In all I can't say I was blown away by the food and dessert of La Manda's, but any gap in the taste department was more than made up for in environment. It's worth going there just to sit down for a while and watch the television set at the bar. For patrons who need to go outside to smoke, there's even an ashtray on the telephone pole out front. I was certainly bummed out that I couldn't go bowling on that night, but at least the loss of the bowling alley allowed me to find an old fashioned world like La Manda's.

             There's still little traces of humanity left, but you have to dig deeper to find them.....