The Terracotta Warriors of the Pond

            The Discovery Times Square Museum is a favorite of mine because it regularly borrows famous attractions from all of the world, and instead of having to fly for ten hours to see them, I could take a thirty-minute subway ride. My past visits have included the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Tomb of King Tut, and the Lost City of Pompeii, the next showing I had my eye on was the Terracotta Warriors. The first emperor of China, Qin Shihuang Ling, had an army of eight-thousand clay soldiers, plus chariots and horses, created to serve the purpose of "guarding" his tomb once he was dead and buried. Back in 1974, some farmers in China were innocently digging in the fields and came upon one of the figures, then after some more digging the entire ancient Chinese legend was unearthed. The only downer about the museum is that they don't allow picture-taking inside, but its still a worthwhile visit all the time.

             The exhibition made a trip to New York and will be around till late August, but I didn't want to delay in seeing these two thousand year-old warriors any further. Usually when I go to the Discovery Times Square Museum the place is an absolute mob scene, and even with buying a ticket online ahead of time, the line is extremely long and it takes at least an hour of waiting. Its the perfect tourist magnet and with many tourists around the city on weekends, I decided it would be best to go on a lazy Wednesday afternoon. Admission cost was a pricey twenty-five dollars and I purchased my ticket at home before heading down to Manhattan. The weather was warm, but the skies were grey and I was hoping the threat of rain would keep the tourists in their hotels. Times Square was rather full as usual when I got out of the subway, but it wasn't unbearable to walk around as it could be most of the time. I saw an ad for the Terracotta Warriors on a garbage can and knew I was well on my way. With the giant neon signs of Times Square a great back drop behind me, I made several unsuccessful attempts to take a good picture of myself. A Chinese lady saw my predicament and offered to take a picture of me. Perhaps she was a descendant the Terracotta Warriors.

             Once I was inside the Discovery Times Square Museum I was shocked to see there were only about four or five people on line before me. In my previous experiences there would be several hundred patrons in front of me and I would have to wait about an hour as they would bring groups of people in at a time. This time the wait was only a few minutes and they let us begin; they first take you to a small theater to watch a short video, then the wall lifts open and you walk into the exhibit. Actually, very little is known about Qin Shihuang Ling and his giant tomb was only a myth until a farmer whacked it with a shovel in the 1970's. Qin became leader of the Qin state by the age of thirteen and by the time he was twenty-two, he conquered the surrounding states and formed what became known as China. He had work started of the Great Wall of China as well as the Grand Canal in the south (still the biggest canal in the world). Qin brought modern forms of government and law into effect which are still present in Chinese culture. Infatuated with immortality, Qin spent alot of time looking for magic elixirs and wanted his terracotta warriors built to stand guard at his tomb in case he did die eventually. At age forty-nine, the First Emperor, the title he took, did pass away around 209 BC and its suspected it was from mercury poisoning that we thought was one of those immortal magical potions.

             Rebellions in the years after the Emperor's death did cause destruction and dis-colorment to the warriors in his tomb, as only a very few had color. In addition to those nearly six foot statues, the exhibit included alot of other artifacts from that time period from weaponry to currency to even cookware. Towards the end of the walk-through there's even a sizable section dedicated to the Han Dynasty, which came later on in Chinese history. I learned a few different items while there, such as having pigs was a sign of prosperity, and hair worn loosely in those days was reserved for the criminal culture. Without the hundreds of other annoying people in the way, I was able to get through the exhibit in roughly under an hour. Once I was out, I only had to look a few yards for my next stop, Carmine's restaurant, just a few doors down. It was still during lunch hours and the place wasn't crowded at all either. I didn't want to eat a heavy meal, so I just started out with a dozen oysters and a glass of pinot grigio. As a passing waiter cleaned my table before the food came out, he complimented me on my grey sweater (which has been a compliment magnet in recent months) and was excited to hear when I told him the Terracotta Warriors were down the block.

            Those dozen oysters were nice and went down smoothly, but I was still a tad bit hungry. The food options at Carmine's, even from the lunch options, are always heavy, so I had no choice but to order more items from the raw bar. With a refill of my wine glass, I went with only a half-dozen of cherrystone clams to complete my "light" lunch. By this time the grey skies had disappeared and the sun was out in a full bloom. This gave me no choice but to head over to Central Park for a nice stroll in perfect weather. I decided to walk it from Times Square, and knowing I was going to need a shot of energy for the long hike, I stopped off at Edible Arrangements for a large strawberry-banana smoothie. The lady behind the counter was somewhat sassy as she made it seem I was taking too long to make up my mind, but I was seeking something more than the typical strawberry-banana combo. She offered me a chocolate-covered strawberry sample while she made the smoothie, but I had no interest in that.

            The park was looking as wonderful as ever and I couldn't wait to check out some of the animals inside such as the ducks, geese, squirrels, robins, and amazingly so, turtles, which I saw sun bathing the last time I was there. I was passing by a small pond and when I looked down I saw a number of ducks cleaning themselves with their beaks. There was a couple (humans) sitting on a rock not too far away from the pond, but other than that nobody had taken notice of these ducks, I could have them all to myself. As I paced closer towards them I was expecting them to flee into the water, but just the opposite happened, they acted as if I didn't even exist. I know, especially in that park, the animals are used to the millions of visitors, but I never had ducks provide this time of unprecedented access before. Other than trying to touch them, which I tried a few times, they would let you do anything else and take all the pictures you wanted. I can't recall ever being so up close and personal to a duck like that without it being stuffed in a museum or served on a plate with a side of rice. I spent a good fifteen minutes there at the edge of the pond and probably could've stayed for the day, but my legs were getting tired from all the walking I had done. Unfortunately, I had to carry on and after passing the Central Park Zoo (with a self-promise of visiting this summer) I did get to meet up with a robin and a squirrel.

           The photogenic ducks had left a big impression on me, even bigger than the two-thousand year old warriors, and they didn't cost a dime.....

A Stroke of Genius

             A couple of months ago I was frequenting the Bronx Alehouse in Riverdale and had a few tall glasses of fine ale. It was late on a Sunday night and before taking the car to drive back home, I had decided it was wise to eat something and have a cup of coffee before hitting the road. A few blocks away a solution flashed in my face in the form of the Riverdale Diner with it's large red sign. When I entered the establishment I was immediately faced with the dessert cake, and there before my eyes stood one of the greatest concepts ever put into action; a red velvet cheesecake. At the time I wasn't fully prepared to take on such a mighty force (think when Moses first discovers the Burning Bush), but I knew the time would come when there would be a final confrontation.

             The weeks and months dropped off the calender and as good as the good times were or as bad as the bad times were, in the back of my mind the red velvet cheesecake had been looming in the back of my head. On some days I might say red velvet is my favorite cake, but on other days I would side with cheesecake. I was curious what the combination of both cakes were going to do with me. Positive and negative protons were able to set the atomic bomb in place, would the powers of red velvet and cheesecake be just as powerful? Without wanting to think about it further, I reached a point where I needed to plunge ahead and experience one of the wonders of the world. In preparation of this event, I ate very light during the day. I had half of a nasty chicken empanada from 7-11, a small chicken noodle soup, and a granola bar. I wanted to leave plenty of room for a reasonable-sized dinner and then the grand finale of a slice of red velvet cheesecake. That afternoon I even stopped by the gym to burn off the calories I knew I would be accepting later on.

             I returned to the Riverdale Diner and the first thing I checked was the dessert case to make sure they were still offering it. There it was, in all it's glory. In fact, only a slice had been taken away which indicated it was a freshly made cake. Then from there things got a little awkward as I stood waiting for someone to seat me. The place wasn't crowded at all and there were workers all over, but none of them took notice that I wanted a seat. The owner or manager was counting money, a few workers were chatting with a customer at the counter, and someone was replacing a few of the pastries in the dessert case. It was possible they thought I was standing and waiting for a take-out order, but I was there for a good six minutes in limbo. I didn't want to sit at the counter as the people there were waiting for take-out orders and I didn't want to be stuck at a transient position while trying the cake. Then all of a sudden, an older lady walked in, looking quiet shabby, a few inches away from homeless, with a band aid on her elbow, and she approached the counter for a take-out order as well. I figured then maybe that's the only protocol to get any attention in the place. I shuffled my feet a few places towards the left to get closer to the counter in hopes someone would recognize my predicament, but it did no good. Eventually, I had to throw in the towel and ask a random waiter if I could have a seat (in hopes he would actually say yes).

            Once seated I scanned the menu for a good medium sized meal, in knowing I already had the answer in my head in regards of what I was going to do for dessert. As a favorite diner haunt of mine, I found a nicely priced liver option: calves liver with peppers and onions over yellow rice. The dish itself had a fancy-sounding Spanish name, but it was basically liver over rice. The eleven-dollar meal came with a soup option and out of the four options I went with matzah ball soup. I only had to wait a minute for the soup to come out, and it was perfect for the situation. It was very light and went down easy, including the slices of bread and crackers they served on the side. Shortly after the soup came out it was time for the liver dish. Really, dinner was just as a formality as I was only there for the red velvet cheesecake, so it was difficult to fully evaluate the liver, but it was a tad bit overdone. I could've cleaned the plate if I really wanted to, but I needed to leave room for the main event. As I digested my meal, I entertained myself by taking in the patrons of the other tables around me. For example, one lady across from me couldn't eat dairy products and kept asking the waiter about almost ever item on the menu if it had dairy in it. Or behind me, instead of ordering a regular gyro deluxe dish, this other lady needed a special customized dish of a gyro served in a wrap instead of the standard pita bread.

            Knowing I would only be moments away from take-off of the red velvet cheesecake, I made a short trip to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and get ready. It was quite a large and clean facility and served as the perfect venue for a few moments of quiet reflection. I returned to my table and as the busboy took my dishes away, the waiter asked if I wanted anything else. That's a moment I'll never forget, that's when I ordered the red velvet cheesecake. Naturally, I also had to add a cup of coffee to go with it, otherwise it wouldn't officially be a dessert. The coffee came out rather quickly, but the waiter said he needed a few minutes to prepare the slice of cake, I understood. You can't just serve something like that and walk away, it needs to be prepared the right way. About three minutes later the waiter returned with the red velvet cheesecake placed on a triangular plate with a few sprays of whipped cream and a dash of some type of syrup. I didn't want to dwell on it much, so I picked up my folk and dug in. To my surprise, the red velvet doe was dominate and I wasn't tasting much of the more densely-packed cheesecake, but then I realized what happened.

          The way the cake was constructed, it was cheesecake heavy on top, and red velvet dominate towards the bottom, by eating the cake on the side, this threw me off a little. After a few bites, then a few more bites, I looked down and saw I had almost finished the whole thing so quickly, I needed to slow the pace. While I took a short break, I paid closer attention to the radio station that was pouring out of the diner's speakers. It seemed as if it was tuned into an 80's satellite radio station, and a song came on that I had been seeking quite some time back. I remember hearing it in the early 90's the first time, and again about four years ago, but had forgotten I wanted to find out the name of it. I remembered the lyrics of "two steps forward and two steps back", as well as, "opposites attract". Turns out the name of the song was "Opposites Attract" by Paula Abdul. This was turning out to be quite a night with the confrontation of the red velvet cheesecake and unlocking a mystery song that had been puzzling my brain for half my life. I picked up my fork for a few more bites and just about the time my stomach told me I won, I checked the battlefield and saw the cake splattered all over. I didn't want to completely embarrass the red velvet cheesecake, so I left a few pieces laying around so it could have it's dignity. The busboy whisked the defeated dish away and months of wonder had suddenly been fulfilled.

            When it comes to red velvet and cheesecake, opposites certainly attract......

CLICK HERE to be brought to YouTube to hear "Opposites Attract"

A Pancake in Cuba and the Teamsters

             The temperature this past Saturday neared 90 degrees and the Caribbean-isc weather pointed my stomach in the direction of the nearby Havana Cafe in hopes of a seat outside for lunch and a mojito(s). Usually when I visit the place its on a Friday or Saturday night, and its generally packed each time whereas I'm forced to sit at the bar (not that its a bad thing). Going in the afternoon I figured it would be less hectic this time around, and possibly I could actually have a table outside for myself.

             When I arrive there with the sun beaming down, its just as crowded as it would be on a Friday or Saturday night. Even all of the outdoor tables were taken. My dream of having having my favorite drink there, a coconut mojito, outdoors was gone, so I headed inside and followed my usual routine of hanging around the bar until someone vacated one of the bar stools. I ordered one coconut mojito while I remained standing and had to wait about twelve minutes before I was able to have a seat at the bar. The lunch options at the Havana Cafe outweigh the dinner plates, and I had only one choice on my mind which was a dish I tried several months ago, El Gran Combo. It's a Cuban breakfast consisting of a pancake, flank steak, scrambled eggs, and diced onions & tomatoes on top, I of course scraped off the tomatoes. Before the food came my drink had ran out, so I made sure to order another before digging in. Although the El Gran is now running at twenty-one dollars compared to about a year ago when it was only thirteen, it's still worth it. Before leaving I made sure to visit the decorative bathroom with the old-fashioned Bacardi ads pictured on the walls.

             A few days later I was in the city for my job in which I went back to my old company on a part-time basis, and leaving for one afternoon I wanted to frolic around Union Square to check out a few places I previously passed by, but didn't visit yet. It had been raining all day, but luckily by the time I was done with work the rain had stopped. I was walking around there about two months ago and the three places I saw was a sausage snack place called Dogmatic, an Asian museum, and a Teamsters office. My plan was to check out all three of these places before taking the subway to go back home. I instantly remembered where Dogmatic was, on E.17th St., so I went there first. Dogmatic specializes in a variety in different types of sausages that are wrapped in crusted doe. There's several variety of sausages such as beef, pork, turkey, veggie, and lamb, I went with the lamb. After that, you select a sauce you want on it, I selected mint yogurt. There's side orders available and for some reason I was drawn to the mac-n-cheese. Initially I wasn't going to order a drink, but the lady behind the counter asked if I wanted anything to wash it down with, so I glanced at the menu on the wall and saw they served handmade soda. I'm not sure exactly how one could make soda by hand, so I plunged in to give it a shot and asked for coconut soda.

            There's plenty of room to eat inside if one wants to, there's a giant table in the middle with pull-out seats people can sit at to face eachother, or there's plenty of single pull out seats along the walls. I only had to wait about five minutes for my order to be ready and it was excellent. The sausage was a little thinner than I was anticipating and the soda seemed a little flat, but the mac-n-cheese exceeded all expectations which made up for any blemishes. The only annoyance for me was the extent Dogmatic goes not to offend anyone. For example, on their menu they point out that their products are farm-raised, free-ranged, non-fried, etc. It's a small detail, but I never heard of a situation of someone balking at ordering a sausage because the parts inside wasn't farm-raised. One should be lucky the meat inside isn't raccoon and chick peas mixed together. Next on my hit list was going to be an Asian museum I remembered that was just a few blocks away, the only problem was I couldn't find it this time. There was one building that started to resemble a museum, but it turned out to be a hospital. I didn't worry too much about the museum because I had an even larger issue on my hand; I had reached into my pocket and couldn't feel my cell phone.

            After going through my pockets hastily I realized my phone was gone, I went through my head where could it be. Did it fall out my pocket at Dogmatic? Did it fall out around Union Square and some crazy person picked it up? Or did I just leave it at my desk? I gave up on the Asian museum and went back to Union Square to ponder my next move. Should I go back to the office where the phone would likely be, or should I first visit the third and final destination on my afternoon itinerary, the Teamsters office? Unlike the museum, I knew exactly which street the Teamsters office was on, 14th st. I left the green park with it's pigeons and a whino sleeping behind a concrete flower pot, and made my way down to 14th street. I had already done a great deal of walking by this time and knew there was plenty more ahead, so I refueled myself with a mango-banana smoothie from a street cart and proceeded with my journey to the Teamsters. I paced across 14th Street where I remembered seeing the Teamsters office the first time, but just like the Asian museum, I wasn't seeing it. I went only as far west as 7th avenue since I knew I still had to walk back to my office for the phone, so I didn't go any further than that. It turns out if I had gone across 7th avenue and went the one extra block, I would've found the place, but the worry of my cell phone being lost was pulling me back to my office. I hurried back to my desk at my office and as soon as I opened the top draw, there was the cell phone. With my legs tired out, I hopped on the train and headed back home with the cell phone properly in my pocket.

              For it was the cell phone that decided the Teamsters office would have to wait for another day....