Washing Hands Without Soap

             A couple of Thursdays ago I was on the west side of town and my eyes became drawn to the grand opening of a new IHOP location. Although IHOP is nothing more than a glorified diner, in Manhattan an IHOP seems like a duck out of water. The only other two locations I know of in the city are up in Harlem and a few blocks away from Union Square on the east side. Other chained franchises such as McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts fit the city like a glove, but something about an IHOP stands out. I didn't have time to go in on that particular day, but knowing I had to be back in the city on that upcoming Saturday to run some errands, I planned make that the day I would test out this new location.

             IHOP, short for The International House of Pancakes, has been around since 1958, starting in California, and today has over fifteen-hundred locations across the nation. In 2007 they consumed the Applebee's franchise and are owned by the combined forces which is officially named DineEquity. They're best known for their pancakes, but over the years they've expanded their menu to comply with the traditional foods eaten at lunch and dinner by Americans. I started my day in midtown with grey and threatening skies overhead. Cutting through the city using 53rd St. I stumbled upon a small alley which had a sign labeling it 6 1/2 Ave. I couldn't tell if it was a real street name or some type of joke. The sign looked pretty real to me. Downtown trains on the west side were all messed up due to weekend construction, so my 1 train actually skipped the Houston St. stop I needed and went all the way down to Chambers St. where I needed to switch over to the uptown side to get back. Once I finally reached my stop and was at the corner of Varick and Downing, the new IHOP was only steps away. When you enter you don't get into the restaurant part right away. There's a small waiting room with a hostess desk you must approach first and then you're brought into the actual restaurant section. It's actually a great idea because who wants to be eating their food at their table and watching people stare back at them on the line, using their eyes to say, "Hurry up with your food - I want to sit down and eat". This method allows patrons to eat in peace without angry eyes piercing through their skin like laser beams.

             The restaurant has a weird zigzag shape compared to the usual rectangular shapes of most dine-in eateries. For a place in the city which could get very crowded, it didn't seem like there would be enough tables to accommodate big crowds during peak hours. The time I was going was a lazy Saturday afternoon, so I was seated immediately and there were plenty of open tables left. Basically the entire wait staff had tattoos rolling down their arms; either saying something about the IHOP hiring guidelines or perhaps just a sign of the times. I can't put my finger on it, but having a guy with tattoos in a white shirt and blue apron bringing you fluffy pancakes also seems like a duck out of water. The waiters and waitresses hung out by the kitchen door and were discussing anything except pancakes. I had to make eye contact with my waiter so he could come back over and take my order. I felt bad about interrupting his conversation. I went with the never-ending pot of coffee (which actually turned out to be two cups for me) and kept it simple with the pancakes - just three regular with a side of bacon. The menu features all sorts of pancakes, from traditional blueberry or strawberry to cheesecake-filled which racks up to nearly two thousand calories. I was imagining those cheesecake pancakes in my mouth, but the intelligent part of my brain directed me away from the calorie-nuke. Even though I ordered my pancakes with a side of bacon, I received a side of breakfast sausages instead. I guess IHOP knows whats best for me.

             While I was eating two cops came in and sat down at the table next to me. I never thought I would see pancakes and live ammunition within the same field of view, but it happened. Before leaving I wanted to check out the bathroom which is located on the downstairs level. When I first entered the restaurant I felt there wasn't enough tables for a city-located establishment, but then the downstairs made things clear for me. There was the mother-load of tables located downstairs, probably even more than the upstairs. Since it wasn't busy, the downstairs tables weren't being used and basically all the lights were off, but if they did receive bigger crowds, then they would be able to accommodate them. The bathroom itself was quite clean, but there was one small detail missing when I went to wash my hands - there was no soap!! Both liquid soap dispensaries were bone-dry. I wouldn't have been surprised if there never had been any soap during the grand opening period. If there was some soap previously, there would've been at least some bubbling foam or something seeping out, but this was bone-dry as in no soap ever. I could've reported this to the policemen upstairs, but figuring it was the grand opening and everyone was getting used to the nuisances of the establishment, I let it go, hoping one day they'll get around to putting soap in the soap dispensary. On my way out as I passed the hostess desk there were two more cops standing there and ordering from the take-out menu. This IHOP must be the new "Go-To" for the nearby precinct.

             With a belly full of pancakes, and breakfast sausages I didn't order, I figured I walk it off towards the water by the west side piers. I strolled along the cobblestone blocks of old New York until I made my way to West St., which appears the be the only strip of real estate in Manhattan that's not experiencing a boom. After passing a former gentlemen's club with no ATMs inside and a deserted diner that's too frightening to peek inside, I crossed the street and got a great view of the Freedom Tower which seems nearly finished. I spent a couple of minutes by the water, but once those grey skies finally let down some raindrops, I knew it was time to head back home. I didn't want to have to deal with the construction fiasco of the 1 train again, so my plan was to catch the E train in front of the IFC Theater and take that across town to transfer to the 6. While en route via Bleecker Street the raindrops let up and tourist crowds built up along the way.

             Walking by small eateries and ice cream shops, I was hit with this sudden urge for bubble tea. It's a flavored Chinese drink with soft jelly/gummy-bear like beads at the bottom. The straws for bubble tea are always wide so you can suck up and eat the beads. I was hoping I would find one of these on Bleecker Street, but I was having no luck. They're all over the place in Chinatown, but I really didn't feel like going out of my way to get it. It would've been a great cherry on top for the IHOP experience, but as I drew near the West 4th train station, it was looking like I was going home without my bubble tea. Then as I was about to head down the stairs for the subway, my head turned left and I caught a series of Chinese lettering. I had no idea what they meant, but in English the store has the word bakery on it. In Chinatown, all the Chinese bakeries serve bubble tea. This Fay Da Bakery knew I was in need of bubble tea and it was almost as if it magically appeared as I was about to leave the city as a bubble tea loser. Had I taken the 1 train instead of walking to the E train, this would've been the case. In the end, the construction fiasco worked out well for me. There was no mention of bubble tea in the front window, but I knew they had to be serving it. I went inside and said the words "Bubble Tea" to the lady behind the counter about three or four times before she picked up on what I wanted. You can get bubble tea in all sorts of flavors, unfortunately the lady didn't hear me when I asked for mango, so she gave me generic brown tea, which was still okay.

               If you want something sometimes, it will appear.........

Cornmeal Chicken Cutlets Done My Way

             Last night I came home from a Yankee game and I wasn't sure I wanted to eat for dinner. I was conflicted with either going to the diner and spending money, or cooking something at home and saving a few bucks, with a sink of dirty dishes as the only price. After nearly two hours of contemplating, I finally went with staying home and doing something with the chicken cutlets I had purchased many days ago. I figured 12:40 am was the ideal time to cook a meal and eat it.

             Usually when I make chicken cutlets I like to bread them, but this time I wanted to add a new wrinkle into the mix to make them that more interesting. To add taste and make the crust more crispy, I decided to bring corn meal into the fold. Starting out with my chicken cutlets which can be purchased from any friendly neighborhood supermarket, I brought out flour, bread crumbs, three eggs, oregano, herbs de provence, salt, lemon juice, cooking oil, and the star of the show: corn meal. For a side dish I wanted to boil up some spaghetti. Had it been earlier in the evening I would've also done a sauce, but due to the lateness of the hour, I was going to stick with keeping the pasta plain. Once I started getting everything together in the kitchen, Leo heard the stirring around and came in to see what all the commotion was. It's usually quite annoying to try to cook with Leo around as he makes many attempts to try to get at the food. I was going to lock him in the living room, but when I noticed he was quietly perched upon the kitchen radiator, I figured I would let him stay for the time being.

             Many people make the mistake of dipping the cutlets into the egg yolk as the first step, that's actually step two. What needs to be done first is coating the raw cutlets with flour; just pour some flour onto the cutlets and massage the powder on all exposed surfaces. Then take the three eggs and break open the yokes into a bowl. Once I threw the egg shells into the garbage, Leo leaped off of the radiator and peeked into the garbage to see what treasure I just had disposed of. With the floured-cutlets and egg-dip bowl ready, the final preparation is the bread crumbs. Pour some bread crumbs onto a dish, and then add dashes of salt, oregano, herbs de provence, and of course the corn meal. You can use a utensil or even your hand to mix up the bread crumb-corn meal concoction It's best to organize each dish and bowl in order like an assembly line. Starting from the left; there's the cutlets, the eggs, the bread crumbs, and to the right an empty plate to house the breaded cutlets. Again, you can either use a utensil or even you hand for the breading process. Take a cutlet, dip it completely in the egg yolk, then place in onto top of the bread crumbs (flip it over to cover both sides), and once covered by the crumbs, place in the plate. When all the cutlets have been breaded, this is when you can take the lemon juice bottle and give the chicken slices a few squeezes of juice for extra flavoring.

             With the cutlets ready to go, I poured some cooking oil onto my trusty iron pan and let it heat for about three minutes. That's when I took a folk to carefully place all four pieces of cutlet onto the hot pan. The initial sizzle noise from the chicken hitting the pan let me know it was officially game time!! Leo came over for a closer look to see how this phase of the cooking was panning out. Each side requires about ten to twelve minutes to cook, so I didn't want to start the pasta until the first side was done. I kept taking little peeks underneath the cutlets, and once I saw the dark brown grill lines from the pan, I knew it was time to flip them over. Leo was still curious about those discarded egg shells, but too bad for him the garbage cover was down. When the cutlets where on their other side, I poured the spaghetti into the boiling water and let the both of them race towards the finishing line. Leo grabbed a spot at the kitchen table in anticipation that he was going to join me for this meal. In about ten to twelve minutes, same as Side A, the dark brown lines from the grill where in clear view and the cutlets were ready to consume. In about this same time the spaghetti was nice and soft and I was able place everything onto my plate. Just as I hoped, the added corn meal kept the cutlet crust firm and in its place. Far too often with chicken cutlets, once you start cutting them with your utensils, the layer of bread crumb slips right off like a sock. That's definitely not the case when the corn meal is there to lend support.

             Adding corn meal to cat food might be a whole other story..........