Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Debowlerization of America

             I've had the burning desire to go bowling over the past month, but this or that thing tends to appear out of nowhere and I ended up not going. On an otherwise uneventful Tuesday night, I decided the wait had to end, I wanted to go bowling and nothing should stand in my way. There's plenty of bowling spots in the city such as the Bowlmor franchise, but I was looking for a real old fashion bowling alley. The new age bowling places have turned into trendy lounges and clubs that cater to corporate outings and collar-up sweatervest bachelor parties which goes against the whole idea of a bowling alley. These lame alleys have bouncers in the front like its some fancy hotspot. A bowling alley should have a dented front door in which the glass is cracked. The inside should stink of body odor, chalk, and cigarettes. The lighting should be dim; not because of design, but because a few of bulbs burnt out. The rental shoes should be worn out and the once white shoelaces need to be graying and about to snap. The bowling balls themselves should be chipped, cracked, and the weight number should be faded out so you can't tell how heavy the ball is. The only food options should be microwavable mozzarella sticks and greasy shoestring french fries. The bathroom must be absolutely atrocious and the toilet unusable under any circumstance. That's a bowling alley!!

             With the number of real bowling alleys rapidly shrinking over the past twenty years, my options were very limited. There used to be two locations very close to me, but they're both gone now. There is another not too far from me, but it doesn't fit the description above I was seeking in a properly looking and smelling bowling alley. The only location that was somewhat holding onto the old tradition of rancidness as far as I knew was located up in White Plains. The last time I was there was probably about 2005. I didn't know the exact street name the place was on or what the name of the alley even was, but I remembered how to get there. It's by the Westchester County Center, the place I visited for the Toy & Train as well as the Cat Show about a year ago. I drove up there all ready to bowl, but there was one small problem: I didn't see the alley anymore. In thinking perhaps I passed by it without noticing a sign, I went back and drove by again, and still there was no trace of it. Was this place another victim of the debowlerization that has been occurring in this country over the last two decades? As of 2008, New York was leading all states with 410 listed bowling alleys, while other parts of the country, such as Washington DC, had zero. The number of bowling alleys have been decreasing and the ones that still exist are morphed into "scenes" like Bowlmor or are a part of an overall entertainment zone that also features arcade games, laser tag, go-carts, batting cages, etc. Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton grabbing their bowling bowls to go out with the guys used to be part of American culture. Bowling on a Friday or Saturday night was a piece of fabric in society such as going to church on Sunday. The question becomes; why are the alleys disappearing and why don't people bowl anymore?

             The two parts of this equation are the human beings needed to bowl and the buildings for the humanoids to bowl in. With the large amount of options for programming to watch on cable or satellite television, as well as the unlimited amount of destinations to browse on the internet, there's less of a need to venture outside the household for entertainment when there is so much amusement to be done at home or in the palm of a hand. Whatever human contact is able to survive the lure of Amazon.com and "Doomsday Preppers" is fragmented by the constant need to consult a small handheld device to check email and text messages, or see what's been posted on Facebook (like ZEIsSIT World blog posts). The idea of pure human connection without internet access somewhere in the midst is all about gone and the desire for activities that live outside the gigabyte world are less ingrained on the human soul than it was forty or fifty years ago. Not only have bowling alleys been victimized by this, but other social venues such as pool halls, clubs, arcades, sporting events, and church have either totally evaporated or have been severely watered down. One might say there's millions of clubs in existence, but the response back should be a second consideration if the place is really a club by definition. The clubs of today have become a beacon of the pretentious with thousand-dollar bottle service and leather couches that highlight the importance of wealth. The end result of focusing on wealth instead of the plight of the people has brought a crumbling musical expressionism which of course is fed back into the same venue which continues the trend of a lowered quality of music.

             The original idea behind a club was for the poor to gather and promote the music which speaks of the social ills or humiliates of the day. The small stages of the late 1950's were the roots for Bob Dylan and The Beatles(in UK), the discos of the 1970's brought Donna Summer and The Bee Gees to life, the dingy spots of the 1980's produced Madonna and The Ramones, and although music was headed downwards at this point, the rugged halls of the late 1980's to early 1990's put Tupac Shakur, Jay-Z, Puff Daddy, Biggie Smalls, all on the map. The boom of cable television in the mid 1980's began this watering down of humanity, eventually leading to the losing desire for places like bowling alleys and the lost ability to recognize quality music. The internet explosion of the mid 1990's sealed the deal so much so that by this month and year in 2013 here are the current Billboard Top Ten Artists and Songs:

1. Thrift Shop by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Wanz
2. Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars
3. Scream & Shout by will.i.am & Britney Spears
4. Ho Hey by The Lumineers
5. I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift
6. Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia Featuring John Martin
7. Daylight by Maroon 5
8. Suit & Tie by Justin Timberlake Featuring Jay Z
9. When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars
10. Beauty And A Beat by Justin Bieber Featuring Nicki Minaj

(Here is the Billboard Top Ten during this month in 1965 when there was no bottle service or iPhone and alot more bowling alleys!!!)

1. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' by The Righteous Brothers
2. Downtown by Petula Clark
3. The Name Game by Shirley Ellis
4. This Diamond Ring by Gary Lewis And The Playboys
5. Hold What You've Got by Joe Tex
6. Love Potion Number Nine by The Searchers
7. All Day And All Of The Night by The Kinks
8. My Girl by The Temptations
9. How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You by Marvin Gaye
10. Shake by Sam Cooke

             Of course everyone is entitled to their own taste in music and opinion what is good or not, but for some reason I have a hard time being convinced "Beauty and A Beat" is anywhere on the same planet or even in the galaxy as "My Girl". The scary thought as the continued trend goes on is what will the Billboard Top Ten look like in the Year 2050. Sporting contests are still part of our culture, but this current version of fans simply aren't into them as they once were. More than half the audience are entranced by their handheld device that they barely watch the action on the field. Crowd participation has filtered out and fans are hardly into these games anymore. As a cheap attempt to make up for the lack of real fan support, the popular thing to do today is to berate athletes on their Twitter accounts or to gang assault fans who wear the jerseys of opposing teams in the parking lot. The caliber of people who can't detect the lack of depth in today's music and spend two hundred dollars on a ticket to a game, only use that time to stare at their iPhone instead of the game itself, in the long run aren't going to be the type of go to the bowling alley. With the loss of customers, its understandable why the bowling alleys were on their way to extinction. There's also the other half of the problem which has brought the rapid loss of these once treasured places to socialize and have fun. Corporations and their chains have been eating this country alive over the past two decades. At every turn, Best Buy, BJ's, Target, Walmart, Kmart, Pier1 Imports, and alike has been grabbing every piece of available land to increase their footprint. In addition, a growing population and the ever present housing market will always influence land owners to build apartments or condos. The formula is to first raise the rent on a struggling bowling alley so it can finally go out of business, then they'll be space to build a new Ikea or an ugly row of generic condos. The majority can't take notice because they're busy watching a Maroon 5 music video on their iPhone during the 9th inning of a tied ballgame.

             After a while driving I finally realized this bowling alley had been swallowed whole from a rotting humanity and there would be no bowling for me on this chilly night. My mind soon turned to food as the goal for the evening and I kept going down this road until I was to encounter a restaurant appetizing enough to try out. My eyes caught one establishment called La Manda's, but since I had to also pay attention to the road, I really couldn't make out if the place was Italian or Mexican cuisine. I figured I would drive for about another ten minutes, and if I didn't see anything else, I would turn around and head straight for La Manda's. By this time I was entering the Village of Elmsford with its numerous seedy hotels and motels near the border. I would come upon one of the bigger hotel chains and there must have been some type of emergency because there was about ten twelve firetrucks and police cars out front. The building looked very familiar to me and it took awhile for me to make the connection. In early 2004 I attended a job fair there for selling final expenses insurance. I don't remember the company's name, but they rented out a large conference room in the hotel and invited about fifty candidates, including myself, to explain what they do and to find future salespeople. The job would essentially involve going to the homes of usually older people and to get them to buy an insurance package that would one day pay for their final expenses. I sat down for a one on one interview with a company recruiter, but I guess I didn't have "Final Expenses Salesman" written onto my face because they didn't call me back afterwards. Reminiscing on it now, the guys who were running the conference were rather creepy looking and its better they didn't want me to join them. I made this hotel my turning around point and I went back from where I came. I parked in front of La Manda's and once I saw the word "pizzeria", I realized it was an Italian restaurant.

             There's a bar as soon as you walk in and towards the right are tables for groups. Two people were already at the bar, so I figured I take my seat there and join the party. The restaurant had an old fashion look to it which was a welcoming sight after suffering the pain of a dead bowling alley. La Manda's Pizza has been around since 1947, and the bathroom probably never changed. The door to the toilet is something out of an antique show and offers little privacy, but in all I was really liking the environment. At the bar there was an elderly gentleman dressed up in a suit. From the way the bartender and other workers spoke to him, it seems like the guy is in there at least five nights a week. The time was about 6:30 pm and the dinner crowd kept coming in. One couple sat up at the bar, some waited in the front for take-out orders, but most were seen to a table. No matter who they were or where they sat, either the bartender or a worker knew who they were and patrons were greeted like family. I was the real unknown entity, everyone else knew each other. Perhaps there's not many options in the area, so everyone goes there to eat, or maybe there's some other type of charm which has kept the place in existence since 1947. In a fast pace world that caters to rancid music and five million Best Buy locations, it was refreshing to find this place where nobody is a stranger. My go-to lately for Italian restaurants has been veal parmigiana. So I ordered that up with a side of spaghetti and a small bottle of white wine. The veal came out in less that ten minutes from when I ordered it, so that raised a reg flag in my mind. The cheese looked like it was tossed on real fast and it was hardly melted into the veal the way it should be. The sauce and the veal itself was a little flat in the taste department, not terrible, but certainly nothing to instill the urge to rush back and have it again. Perhaps La Manda's is more of a pizzeria and in that area is where they shine.

             The bartender offered the dessert menu and of course I had to take a peek. Originally I was thinking of a treat somewhere else on the way home, like a diner. One of the options was Italian cheesecake which I've seen before on menus, but never tried. Since I was already seated at nice cozy place, why go somewhere else for dessert? I went with a slice of the Italian cheesecake and a cup of coffee. I was curious what the difference was between an Italian cheesecake and the more common New York-style, and the answer is all in the texture. Whereas the New York cheesecake is firm, the Italian version is softer and has a cottage cheese look about it. Also it tasted more like a plain cookie than that sweet-cheese essence I have been accustomed to. Having experienced both styles of cheesecake, I'll lean with the original New York-style any day of the week. In all I can't say I was blown away by the food and dessert of La Manda's, but any gap in the taste department was more than made up for in environment. It's worth going there just to sit down for a while and watch the television set at the bar. For patrons who need to go outside to smoke, there's even an ashtray on the telephone pole out front. I was certainly bummed out that I couldn't go bowling on that night, but at least the loss of the bowling alley allowed me to find an old fashioned world like La Manda's.

             There's still little traces of humanity left, but you have to dig deeper to find them.....








Thursday, January 31, 2013

Real Stuff on the Highway

             Flipping through the television channels, a commercial for an upcoming Monster Jam show at the Nassau Coliseum caught my attention. It had been well over a decade since the last time I was at a monster truck show and I had put it off in recent years, so I definitely didn't want to miss it this time around. There were going to be five shows across a Friday through Sunday. Of the days, Sunday was scheduled to have two shows (2:00pm and 7:30pm), but Sunday afternoon I was going to go to an antique toy & train show, and Sunday night is usually when the best television shows are on, so that day was out. Usually there's bigger things going on during a Saturday, so that basically left Friday as the only realistic day I could go. The tricky part was on Friday afternoon I had an appointment at Yankee Stadium regarding the re-location of my season tickets, plus the forecast called for snowfall at night, making a drive back and forth to Long Island less appealing and possibly dangerous.

             Since I wasn't sure yet whether I should really go to the show on Friday or push it back to Saturday, I figured I should take care of the Yankee tickets first and then when I got home, depending on how the weather conditions were looking, I could buy the monster truck show tickets online before driving out to Long Island. My appointment time for Yankee Stadium was 2:30pm and I took the subway down and made it well in time. The Yankees offer season ticket holders the opportunity to change their seat locations or make adjustments to their current plan(s) depending on what is available. Food is provided in the form all-you-can-eat hotdogs, pretzels and chips, plus soft drinks to wash them down with. I ended up with half of a hotdog and a diet pepsi. The 2009 World Series trophy was on display and fans can walk right up to it, I saw it last year as well. Soon after it was my turn to check out the seating area and holding a cold can of soda out on a cold winter day proved unwise ten minutes later. It was strange seeing the stadium completely empty and the grass looked like it hadn't been cared for since the 2012 season ended in October. I I wound up moving my seat to a new location and updated my season plan. As a result, once I returned to the welcome area, I had to wait nearly an hour to see a ticket representative to make all the necessary adjustments with my season plan. To help the time pass I treated myself to a bag of cracker jacks and a second can of diet pepsi. By the time I was done with everything at Yankee Stadium it was 4:30 pm, with the monster truck show three hours away at 7:30pm if I was going this night. The sky was looking clear of any snow, so I had a feeling that night should've been the night.

              When I got back home after a quick stop off to get some Chinese soup, there was still no signs of any snow, that made the decision final in my mind to buy the ticket. Roughly five minutes after I get the ticket online, I look out the window and see a few innocent snowflakes flutter from the clouds. By the time I leave for the show at 6:00 pm, its more than just a few snowflakes and its beginning to stick to the ground. A drive to Long Island didn't seem ideal at this moment, but with the ticket already purchased, I had no choice but to embark on the journey. I anticipated there would be some traffic with the weather conditions, plus the fact is was in the late-phase of the weekend rush-hour home. Leaving at 6:00 pm would give me plenty of time, or so I thought. It turns out from the toll booth nearly all the way to the Nassau Coliseum, I was crawling. Motorists tend to overreact when its snowing or raining and it was torture to be driving 25 mph when snow not had even accumulated yet on the ground. Better yet, the ingenious sanitation department never fails to dump their unnecessary dirty grey salt onto the roadways which actually doesn't melt the snow and ice, but instead makes front windows dirty and limits driver visibility. In addition, by driving slow, motorists allow the ice conditions to built up easier versus if they drove normally (with just a few miles slower than usual) the constant car tire action would melt any snow/ice on the ground instantaneously. Instead, sanitation workers apply the myth that they're actual needed for all snow conditions, when in reality its just a ploy so they can squeeze more overtime hours from taxpayers. In some places in situations the salt is needed, but not in all. Naturally my window got nice and dirty and little pebbles of salt managed to wedge their way between my windshield wiper blades, making the blade quite useless since each wipe would essentially salt up my window even further.

             As what always happen when there are slow highway conditions due to snow, the accidents started to pile up. Every ten minutes there would be two or three cars off to the side of the road with what looked like to be caused by fender-benders. Then on the other side of the highway there would be flat-bed trucks carrying cars which were damaged much worse. Common behavior after long periods of driving super-slow is once there is an opportunity to go faster, motorists use this burst of freedom to hit the gas harder than they should and they end up smashing into the car in front of them (which they couldn't see because their front window has been tarnished with filthy salt). At one exit a black SUV was turned sideways with the driver's side door smashed in. A police car was arriving to that scene by the time I passed by, still crawling at 25-30 mph. All the way through there would be police lights flashing in front of me, in my mirror (not for me), on the other side of the highway, the cops were certainly going to be busy. What was really frustrating was that although I left very early, the drive should normally take about forty minutes, I was on pace to be late for the show. Seemingly going to be late for the show and not knowing how bad the snow would be for the ride back home, and with battered vehicles littered all over the road, I was thinking that this wasn't turning out to be one of my brighter ideas in recent memory. If anything, there was more damage I was seeing on the road for free than what I would be paying to see a monster truck do inside an arena.
       
             There was one final culprit who was stalled in the middle lane of the highway for whatever reason. After getting by that annoyance, I was able to increase my speed from 25 mph to a whopping 50 mph. On their website, Nassau Coliseum lists their parking at seven dollars, but when I actually got there it was ten. Snow had already blanketed the ground and covered the yellow lines, so I'm not sure if I parked in a valid spot or not, but it looked sensible enough and I was already five minutes late. I was just hoping they wouldn't use wrongly parked cars as smash victims for the monster trucks. The last time I was at the Nassau Coliseum was 1997 when I saw a hockey game between the New York Islanders and the visiting New Jersey Devils. I remember the Devils won that game to a score close to 4-2. Other times I was at the arena for some wrestling shows back when the WWE was the WWF. The Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum opened in 1972 and was the home for the Nets of the basketball ABA League, with "Dr. J", Julius Erving as the star player. Eventually the Nets would join the NBA and the team would move to New Jersey before winding up in Brooklyn, where they play now at the new Barclay's Center. The only team the coliseum can hang its hat on is the New York Islanders of the NHL, and that is headed for extinction with the Islanders planning to join the Brooklyn Nets at the Barclay's Center after the 2013-14 hockey season. There's doubts about the coliseum's future and losing the Islanders might've been its deathblow. In the age of the new modern arenas with all the luxury suites, bars, clubs, shops, bells-n-whistles to attract the bandwagon type of fan and price out the real fans, its a welcoming experience to go to a place like the Nassau Coliseum as a throwback to what a sporting arena used to feel like. In addition to the monster truck show, I wanted to make sure I got to the coliseum at least one more time before a wrecking ball gets taken to it.

              The parking lot was rather packed for a snowy night, but perhaps like myself, people bought their tickets and had no choice but to tough it out. Even though I was a few minutes late, I didn't miss any action. I guess under these conditions they knew people would be filing in late. With a fifteen-dollar ticket special for kids, there were alot of families present. In fact, during the breaks the hallways had me thinking I was back in grade school with all the little kids running around. Speaking of the hallways, the coliseum is heavily decorated by the blue and orange colors of the Islanders franchise, the last thread of relevance that keeps its doors open. After winning an astonishing four championships in a row from 1979 to 1983, the Islanders franchise has fallen on hard times which is part of the reason there has been no push to renovate or re-energize the building. I was able to find my seat rather quickly and the first thing I noticed was how cold it was. I'm not sure it was because of the trucks and the exhaust fumes they would be emitting, although there were two large-sized fans aimed to blow the smoke straight up in the air. Another reason could be that since it was an ice hockey venue, perhaps there was cold ice under floor causing it. Either way, throughout the entire show I was able to see my breath and I needed to keep my jacket on. Every so often I would leave my seat and venture out to the hallway just to warm up a little. The seats were a little more than half full, which is about the expected crowd size for these types of shows. The Islanders championship banners as well as the retired numbers for former players hung high from the rafters, and below them on the ground were car shells waiting to be crushed.
                 
             The most infamous truck on the circuit is Grave Digger, who I saw at my last monster truck show in Madison Square Garden back in the late 90's. On this night there was also Grinder, Scarlet Bandit, El Toro Loco, Monster Mutt, Bounty Hunter, Aftershock, and properly named for snowy night, Storm Damage. The event had a ringleader on a microphone to keep the crowd involved and narrate the action. He would also find his way into the crowd to give away t-shirts and other prizes. There was a cool helicopter boomerang he kept tossing into the audience that I wanted, but it never came close enough for me to grab it. Monster Jam has been doing these shows at the Nassau Coliseum for the past twenty seven years, and someone in the audience claimed to have never missed a year. The first competition was concerning the cars on the outside rim of the track. The deal was the trucks had thirty-seconds to run over the cars on both sides and each truck would get a number between one and ten based on how spectacular they looked doing it. After the other trucks had their turns, Grave Digger finally made his appearance. Created in 1982 and driven on this night by Gary Porter from a team from North Carolina, Grave Digger to no surprise was the crowd's favorite, and won the first round of the competition. Upon receiving a plaque for this meaningless win on a snowy night in a old run-down arena, Gary Porter took the plaque into the audience to give it away to a kid. A folk lift truck would come out after each round, sometimes even after a race, to straighten out the cars while a crew on the ground would clean up any debris that could cause a truck to pop its tire and do who knows what sort of damage. It was during these breaks where I would go out into the hallways to warm my bones. The $3.50 small cup of hot chocolate was worth every penny.

            The next competition was head-to-head races which two trucks would race around and whichever trucks was the first to crush the outside pile of cars three times, was the winner. They kept pinning two trucks at a time against each other until it was down to Monster Mutt and Grave Digger. There would be a second meaningless plaque for Gary Porter, because Grave Digger won again!! Just like the first plaque, Gary brought it into the crowd to give it away to a lucky fan. To switch it up a little from the trucks, they next brought out some ramps for dirt bikes and regular bicycles. For about ten minutes, dirt bikes jumped the big ramp while a team of cyclists did all sorts of flips and jumps on the smaller ramps. Once that was done there was a fifteen minute intermission. I used that time to warm up again and even visited the souvenir stand to buy a Grave Digger t-shirt. When the show was back it would be trucks only from then on out. The third competition was the donut wheel-spinning contest in which each truck would be graded on a scale of one through ten. I hope things weren't fixed, because Grave Digger had one for a third time. This time though, Gary Porter signed the plaque before giving it away to an audience member. That left it to the fourth and final content of the night; each truck would have sixty seconds to smash up any and all cars and vans they wanted to and would be graded on the scale of one to ten. As this night was warring on, the arena was getting colder and people started filing out, I'm guessing with the uncertainty of the weather and road conditions. The energy was lacking from the crowd that was there for the previous three truck contests. I figured the way the night was going for Grave Digger, he would've won this too, but surprisingly Bounty Hunter really stepped up his game and put on a very impressive car-crushing performance for the upset. I was a little disappointed in Grave Digger not winning the last one that myself, and what was left of the crowd, started to leave before the driver was awarded with his plaque. When I got back to my car the snowfall had stopped, but ice cycles were hanging off my front bumper and my windows were completely covered. I needed a few minutes to clean up the car before I was able to take the demolition derby highway back home.

               That's where I would be up against the real stuff....