Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Time for a Superhero

             To say the busy corner outside where I live is extremely noisy would be the understatement of the century. In addition to the crackling of the subway tracks, there's racing 4x4 tow trucks with their high-powered engines, constant flow of emergency vehicles with loud sirens, loud trucks, horn-honking cars, and of course, the super-cool drivers who need to blast their car radio at full power so everyone within five miles knows that they're listening to Ludacris. I've become almost immune to all the outside racket as well as the loud TV noise under me from the elderly lady downstairs who is near deafness and has to have her volume on to the max. The only real unstoppable force which can't be reckoned with is a car alarm at night in which there's no other awakened sources of noise to help drown it out.

             A couple of months ago in the Fall I had one of these situations in which across the street there was a car parked and in the middle of the night, its alarm went off and continued into the sunrise hours of the morning. As a result, I nor likely anyone else within shouting distance was able to get any sleep that night. I find car alarms to be a complete waste and nothing more than a noise hazard for decent folk. Some alarms work the correct way in which they don't sound off unless the car is hit very hard, has its window broken, or gets forcefully opened. The problem is the bulk of these alarms sound off at the slightest vibration such as a passing truck or a gust of heavy wind. If the owner isn't aware that their alarm is going off, then that car is honking an beeping its brains out for who knows how long. There's no justice in these situations, the car owner can simply turn off their alarm from afar and there's no payback from the minutes or hours of noise pollution. In the Fall incident across the street, luckily a no-nonsense lady living across the street zeroed in on  the car and was waiting for its owner to return that morning to give him the business on how his vehicle was a  constant annoyance the whole night. I couldn't hear the entire exchange since I was half-asleep in bed from not getting a good night's sleep, but I heard her screaming a complaint in the ballpark of, "It was on all night and I couldn't get any sleep - I have to go to work in the mornings!!", something like that. I frequently see this lady screaming at other people for other things all the time, but this car alarm owner certainly deserved it. She has a mean-looking dog and I was somewhat hoping she would sic' em on the guy for making me have a sleepless night, but I guess the situation never got that out of hand.

             Last week there was a night in which the weather was a little nasty. Nothing too crazy, the rain was nothing more than a light mist, but the winds where very strong. Outside I heard recycling cans getting knocked over, causing bottles and cans to clinked their way down the streets. Heavy winds howled against my windows and once in a while the entire building would vibrate. It reminded me alot of those two long days from about two months ago during Hurricane Sandy. Just like that time, the weather conditions knocked out my cable and Internet connection. Through the evening the cable would try to fight its way back, but then after a few minutes it would just go out again. The Internet showed no signs of life at all and never even made an attempt to come back. Without television, I entertained myself a by watching some old episodes from the television show "Columbo". It was roughly 11:00 pm while I was still watching an episode when I first heard a car alarm sounding off. With the heavy winds and objects been thrown all around outside, I wasn't the least bit surprised, but I figured it would shut off in a minute or two. Ten minutes go by, then twenty, but the alarm kept going. This alarm was centralized around a honking horn and flashing lights. I kept hope the owner would eventually find out and shut it off, but it wasn't stopping. It got so irritating to the point that I couldn't watch the Columbo anymore and my only other choice was to try to go to bed. I knew it would be impossible to be able to fall asleep with the constant racket just had it been back in the Fall, but I tried nevertheless. After about fifteen minutes of tossing and turning the noise was drilling into my head and there was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep.

             Curious on which vehicle was responsible for the noise pollution, I left my bed and returned to my livingroom to look out the window. There it was - a late-90's model white jeep with flashing lights. Worst of all; as the night grew on, at certain points the alarm would turn off for thirty seconds, giving a false hope that the nightmare was over, then all of a sudden it would start up its cadence again. It was about 2:00 am at this point, the alarm was still going strong, and I was surprised nobody at this point had called the cops (or smashed the window with a brick). The jeep was right in front of someone's home, I couldn't understand how they were able to put up with three hours of pure torture. There was no way I was able to fall asleep with this thing, apparently nobody else was going to call the cops to complain, and I myself had no interest calling any police, so I thought of the next best thing: 7-11. Down the block there's a 7-11 convenience store open 24/7 and there's always at least one NYPD squad car there in the parking lot while the officers are inside getting coffee, Red Bull, and a bottle of water. People stereotypically think cops always take their breaks at Dunkin Donuts or other donut-related businesses, but the best place to most likely find a cop is a 7-11 store. Every time I'm in there I see them, as well as FDNY EMS workers. It seems like the cool hang-out spot for emergency workers. My plan was to walk over there and if there were cops around, I would tell them about the never-ending alarm so there would deal with the matter (with towing it away the ideal solution).

             I slipped on my jacket and began the walk to 7-11. The rain was all about gone and the winds had died down, but the heartbeat of the alarm was still pumping strong. As I walked passed it I stared at it with all the hatred in the world. I probably could've found something to smash the window with and likely would've gotten away with it, but ultimately you never know who's looking out their window, even if it was 2:00 am in the morning. If the car was keeping me up at night and looking out the window for the culprit, I had to imagine there could be others. Even though my effort would likely be received with applause, there's always the risk of an informer, so I felt it was best for the authorities to handle it. Once I reached 7-11 I saw there were no police cars in the parking lot, to my disappointment. I went inside anyways just to make sure and the store was empty, except for two employees. I didn't want them to think I was crazy, so I bought a bottle of iced tea and was back on my way home to decide upon my next method of attack. I passed by the jeep again and gave the rock-to-window option another thought, but had just been recorded on the surveillance camera from inside 7-11 from buying the iced tea, I would be a suspect of people in the area at the time of any incident. A good sleuth like Columbo would've been able to track down a window-breaker that way, so now that option was completely off the table.

             While I sipped on my iced tea, I considered whether I should call the police or not. My cable and Internet were still out, so I couldn't look up the phone number of the local police precinct. The official number for noise complaints is 311, but I always felt 311 was for more long-term solutions, just as a constant noisy neighbor or a nearby construction site. I needed short-term relief and this was way too small a crime to dial 911 for. I went with the middle ground and decided upon calling the police station so there can determine where a car alarm weighs on their emergency scale. Without Internet, I dialed 411 on my phone to find out the number for the precinct. When I called it I expected to reach a desk officer or some type of switchboard operator (human), but instead I heard an instructional recording to the tune of, "Press One for Domestic Disturbance-Press Two for Robbery........". There was a mentioning of noise complaints and it said I should call 311 for that. I had a feeling they would make me call 311 eventually, so instead of trying to speak with someone at the station and wasting further time, I hung up on the police station call and dialed 311. After selecting English as my language to continue in and pressing a few other options, I finally found myself communicating with a human being. The time was roughly 2:30 am. The lady operator asked me to confirm my phone number and the spelling of my last name. After providing her with my complaint, she actually apologized that I was being disturbed and informed me that Mayor Bloomberg is on the cusp of putting law into effect that will ban car alarms within city limits, which sits just fine with me. I have to say the operator was very friendly and courteous. She told me she was going to transfer me to 911 so they could  take immediate action. Although I would be happy about the immediate action part, I felt a little leery about getting involved with a 911 emergency, that's usually for life or death situations. I never been on a 911 call before, and there was no turning back now.

             The 311 operator had me on hold (although I was allowed to listen in) while she connected with a 911 operator (also a female). Both operators identified themselves by their serial numbers and I was finally turned over to the 911 lady. I specified that it wasn't actually a "911 emergency", but told her about the evil jeep anyways. She ran through the same phone number and last name confirmations, plus asked me for a description of the noisy vehicle. She told a police car was on its way, but I really took that with a grain of salt. I felt there was no way a cop car was coming anytime soon for just a car alarm. Perhaps by the morning if two or three other neighbors also complained, but not right now. Once the call was over, I mean within seconds of hanging up the phone, the jeep's car alarm started to fade out. The alarm went from a loud honk to a muffled hum. Then after a few seconds of humming, the noise from the alarm completely died out!! All that was left was the jeep's flashing lights. I'm guessing what happened that after three and a half hours of the alarm sounding off, the acoustics must have finally fizzled out. That, or the 911 operator destroyed the alarm with freakish psychic powers. I was happy in some regards that the torture was over, but what if the cops actually arrive? With no more noisy alarm, it could seem as if I filed a false 911 report. Instead of seeking out the owner of the jeep, the cops would be after me, and they certainly had my name and phone number to track down. Worst of all, there would be no justice against the owner of this jeep. I wanted the cops to see this noisy vehicle for themselves while the alarm was at full strength, and either use their nightsticks to break a window in order to get inside and turn the alarm off, or tow it away at the expense of the owner having to pay for the towing-fee of about three hundred dollars.

             My eyes were peeled out the window to see if the cops where going to pass by, and what would they do if they showed up. The front and back lights of the jeep kept flashing, so at the very least the cops should be able to determine that the complaint isn't completely wrong. About a good twelve minutes after I hung up with 911 and the alarm died out, I saw a pair of bright headlights slowly approach from down the street. I had a feeling it was coming from an oncoming cop car canvassing the area, and I was correct! It was a NYPD squad car and it drove at a slow pace until it reached parallel with the parked jeep, where it stopped. With the description of the jeep and its lights still flashing, they must have known that was the vehicle in question. The cops didn't get out of their vehicle, they didn't check the license plate or registration on the jeep's front window. After a few seconds of pause, the cop car carried on until they reached the corner, in which it made a large U-turn and returned from which the direction they came. They didn't give the jeep a second look when passing it again, they just disappeared down the block and were gone.

             They came from the direction of 7-11 and towards 7-11 they returned....



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